


Don't Blame Yourself

by HatterSaz



Category: Bleach
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, mute character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-18 16:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4712789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatterSaz/pseuds/HatterSaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo hasn't uttered a single word since his mother's death. Now in high school with no friends, his father decides to help out. Therefore, he asks an old friend for a favour. Will this friend help Ichigo? Or will Ishin's plan be a bust?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It would really help me if you guys gave me some reviews for this story. Any kind of comment will be welcomed :)
> 
> Just so you know: Bold text is Ichigo has wrote on his notepad, and italics is someones thoughts.
> 
> I will also be posting this story on FanFiction.net once I have finished it.

Another day in the Kurosaki household and all was quiet. It was early morning and the kids were about to wake up for school. That also meant that the pharmacy would open soon. Ishin Kurosaki leapt out of bed with his usual enthusiasm and made his way downstairs. He set up the bowls for breakfast before grabbing some for himself.

The next person to arrive was Yuzu. After the incedent years ago, Yuzu has become the mother figure for the family. Doing chores and cooking for the whole family. As she walked down the stairs, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Ishin smiled. “Good morning Yuzu!” Yuzu sleepily looked up at her father. “Morning Dad. You should keep it down though, Ichigo and Karin are still sleeping.” Ishin chuckled and placed his index finger over his mouth, showing his vow of silence. She smiled and nodded before walking over and grabbing herself a bowl and pouring in her cereal.

After a few minutes, a grumpy Karin joined the two at the table with her cereeal. “Morning Yusu, Dad.” “Morining Karin. Sleep well?” Karin sighed. “Not really, a ghost was pestering Ichigo again.” Yuzu sighed and Ishin just watched with pride in his eyes. _”My girls are all grown up.”_ “He's being pestered again? I hope they leave him alone soon. He's got a lot to deal with as it is.” Karin nodded. “Yeah but, everytime they explain their story, he feels bad and helps them out. It's not good for him.” Ishin and Yuzu nod. “That kid is too nice for his own good.” His two daughters nod in agreement before an uneasy silence fills the room.

As Yuzu begins washing the used bowls and spoons, Ichigo finally emerges from his room. He walks downstairs and weakly waves at the group. Karin watches with sad eyes as her big brother rubs his eyes to stay awake. “Was that ghost here all night?” Ichigo shook his head. “He wasn't? So why do you look so tired?” He pulls out his notepad and begins writing. Ishin watches him with pain filled eyes. He felt so bad for his son. Ever since his mother died, he blamed himself and stopped talking, assuming it would put the last members of his family in danger. Ichigo never said this but, Ishin knew. He was his father after all.

Ichigo walked over to Karin and showed her what he had just wrote. To make sure everyone knew what he had said, she read the message out loud. “I was out all night looking for the ghost of the man's cat so they could pass on together? What the hell?!” Ichigo sighed before walking over and getting himself some cereal. Yuzu scowled at the dish in her hand. “Selfish ghost.” Ichigo turned around from the counter and patted her head. She turned her face so he could see and smiled. He stopped patting Yuzu's head and continued to the table to eat his breakfast.

The family continued to converse as Ichigo ate his food. Ishin occasionally looking at him to make sure he was alright. Karin looked at the clock and jumped. “That's the time?! Crap! Yuzu we're going to be late!” The girls ran around the house gathering their things before putting their shoes on. Ichigo was already there putting his shoes on. “Hey Ichigo, why don't we all walk together?” Ichigo looked at his youngest sister and nodded with a faint smile. The three stood up after putting their shoes on and left the house with a wave. “STAY SAFE KIDS!” Ishin smiled at the closing before sighing. “Ichigo, how long until you talk to us again?” He stood reminising the sound of his sons voice and sighed again. Now, with a determined glint in his eyes, Ishin walked over to the households phone and dialed a number. The phone rang a few times before someone answered. “Hello, Urahara Shoten, how may we help you?” “Kisuke, it's Ishin. I need a favour.”

Ichigo walked with his sisters to the point where he would have to split off from them. The girls talked animatedly the whole way and Ichigo enjoyed watching them. He smiled fondly at the two as their conversation continued. “So Ichigo, what's your first lesson?” Ichigo thought for a moment before getting out his notepad and writing in it once more. He showed them the page and Karin laughed. “Mathematics? Hahaha, unlucky Ichigo!” Yuzu punched Karin in the arm as Ichigo went back to a blank expression. “Karin! That's not nice! Besides, Ichigo is really good at maths.” She smiled at her brother and he returned the gesture.

The three walked as a group a little longer before the girls had to change direction. They waved their brother off before going back to animatedly talking about this, that and the other. Ichigo stood a moment, watching the retreating forms. He sighed to himself before turning around and heading for school.

* * *

 

He was a few feet from the front gate when he heard an argument starting. “Just leave me alone!” “Make us four-eyes! Or give us your money and maybe we'll consider it.” Ichigo scowled at the scene of three tall, burly men threatening a skinny kid with glasses. He narrowed his eyes as he made his way over. The four didn't notice his appearance until he decked the leader in the face. “Ichigo?! What are you doing here?!” Ichigo didn't turn around, he just pointed at the school's gate. His classmate gathered himself before puhsing Ichigo a little. Ichigo's eyes widened as he looked at his classmate. He saw anger in his eyes before the other ran off. “Ishida! Damn it! This is your fault Kurosaki! You're going to pay!” Ichigo turned around in time to see a fist collide with the side of his face. He staggered a few steps before collecting himself and throwing another punch. With that, a fight broke out.

Five minutes, Ichigo was pulled away from one of the bullies by a teacher as another checked over the other kids injuries. “Kurosaki! What on Earth do you think you were doing?!” Ichigo looked away as he pulled out his notepad and wrote down what happened. The teacher sighed as he released Ichigo in favour to rub the back of his neck. “Even if they were bullies, you shouldn't start fights. I'm going to have to suspend you for the week.” Ichigo nodded in understanding before taking the suspension note and walking away.

* * *

 

Ichigo walked and walked until he ended up at a familiar river bed. He looked over the wateres surface and grimaced. He lowered his head from the pain and continued walking. He walked a few feet before returning his gaze to the edge of the river. That's when he saw it. Someone at the edge of the river, preparing to jump in. His eyes widened in horror as his head flashed with memories of that night. He quickly shook them off before running over to the person and grabing their wrist. “HEY! What the hell man?!” The red haired man fought Ichigo's grasp but to no avail.  _“This kid is strong.”_ Ichigo shook his head and that's when the red haired man saw it. Ichigo was crying. He stopped fighting the grip and slowly backed away from the edge. Ichigo sighed in relief before letting the man go and wiping away the tears. The red head stood in utter shock. “I... I was just going for a swim. The water looked inviting.” Ichigo scowled at the man, bringing out his notepad to write.  **“That's dumb. You would have drowned.”** The red head frowned. “Yeah right, the water isn't that strong! Or are you calling me weak?!” The man growled at Ichigo, who was stood with the same scowl from before.  **“I never said that. The water is misleading. Don't be stupid and jump in.”** Ichigo put his pad away and began walking off. He had had enough of this guy.

The red haired man stared in shock before running after Ichigo. “Hey! Wait up! Are you Ichigo?!” Ichigo froze in his tracks. How did this guy know his name? He turned around and the guy caught up. “So...*pant* you are? *pant*” Ichigo nodded and the man smirked. “I see. Then , hi Ichigo, I'm Renji Abarai. I'll be working as an intern in your pharmacy as of tomorrow.” Ichigo's eyes widened. He quickly brought out his notepad and began scribbling.  **“At my family's pharmacy? Seriously?”** Renji nodded and Ichigo felt faint. He wobbled a little before spinning on the spot. Renji looked at him questioningly. “Hey, Ichigo? You okay?” Ichigo slowly nodded. They stood silent a moment, and once Ichigo deemed the time right, he ran. Renji's eyes popped from his head as he watched Ichigo run. “HEY! ICHIGO?!” Ichigo ignored the man as he sprinted for his house. He had to get answers, and his dad was the only one who had them.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo helps at the pharmacy and a guest appears

He flung open the front door and kicked off his shoes. He closed the door again and ran into the main part of the pharmacy. He spotted his dad attending a small child and waited patiently for him to finish. Ishin noticed his son and beckoned him over with a wave of the hand. Ichigo obeyed and walked over to the child's side. “Johnny, this is Ichigo. He is my son and will walk you home when we're done here, ok?” Johnny and Ichigo both nodded, and Ishin smiled in victory. The young boy looked up at Ichigo and smiled. “Thank you Mr Ichigo!” Ichigo smiled down at the boy and bowed slightly. The boy looked slightly confused a moment before shrugging it off and looking back at Ishin.

 

Ishin finished placing the plaster over Johnny's knee and stood up. “All done. Be sure to rest a little before playing again, ok Johnny?” Johnny nodded enthusiastically before hopping down off the chair and bowing. “Thank you for the help Mr Kurosaki!” Ishin laughed and ruffled the boy’s hair. Once the ruffling had stopped, Johnny grabbed Ichigo's hand and pulled him towards the door. They both silently put their shoes on and left the house.

 

Johnny began humming as Ichigo watched the houses, wondering which one was Johnny's. Johnny looked at the silent man next to him and pouted. “Mr Ichigo, are you okay?” Ichigo was a little taken back by the question. He pulled out his notepad skillfully with one hand and began writing. Once he was done, he showed the boy. **“** **I'm fine. Which one's your house?** **”** Johnny looked confused. “Can't you talk mister?” Ichigo shook his head and the boy looked sad. Then a look of determination over took his features and he stopped walking. “Don't worry Mr Ichigo, I will teach you!” Ichigo smiled and ruffled the boys hair, much like his father, and shook his head. Writing in his notepad once more. **“** **Don't worry about it. I'll be fine.** **”** The boy looked down defeated before Ichigo pulled on his arm. Johnny looked up and saw a bright, grateful smile on Ichigo's face. Johnny's face lit up and they both began walking again.

 

It was a little while later that Ichigo finally found the boys house. He stood by the gate as the boy explained his situation then apologised to his mother for worrying her. He watched s Johnny ran back over and hugged him in thanks before running back to his house and going inside. The mother waved her thanks and followed her son. Ichigo watched a moment, a familiar ache in his heart, before he turned and walked back to his own family. Thinking all the way home of how he has broke them.

* * *

 

Ichigo returned to a lively house. It was now noon and it seemed that a teenage girl had been attacked. Her friends said they didn't see what did it but were there when it happened. Curious, Ichigo looked at the girls wound. His eyes widened as he spotted a huge claw mark down her back. The thing was huge! He ran over to his father and silently asked how he could help. Knowing his son, Ishin immediately set Ichigo to work. The two worked on the girl until 2pm. In the end, the girl survived. Her friends were very grateful. Most settled for bowing and apologising repeatedly. However, a few of the girls offered Ichigo their phone numbers and a peck on the cheek.

 

Ishin would laugh at Ichigo's blank expression each time one of the girls did that, so when one of the boys did it, fair to say Ishin enjoyed it. Ichigo looked slightly pissed as Ishin rolled on the floor in laughter, a few girls joining him. Apparently, the guy was the patients boyfriend and wanted to show his appreciation like her friends had. Without a scribble, Ichigo walked out of the room. The group stood with mixed expressions, most assuming he was pissed off about the kiss. But, he returned a minute later with a glass of water and handed it to the patient. Her eyes were wide with shock before she settled down and thanked him. Her friends walked over and began talking to her while Ichigo and Ishin left them in peace.

 

Once in another room, Ichigo brought out his notepad and tapped his dad's shoulder to get his attention. He began writing while Ishin nodded to say he would stay put. **“Is it true you have an intern now?** **”** Ishin read the message a few times to make sure he read it properly. “How do you know about that already?” Ichigo's jaw dropped as he began fiercely writing again. **“It's true?! But the guy I met was about to dive into the river!** **”** Ishin looked at his son confused. “What are you talking about Ichigo?” Ichigo sighed, exasperated. **“He was stood at the river bed, about to jump in. I stopped him and he genuinely thought he was just going swimming! He's too stupid to be a pharmacist!** **”** Ishin held up his hands in a defensive stance. “Woah, Ichigo, calm down! The reason he is an intern is to help with the majour stuff and any basic first aid stuff. He's not going to be doing any diagnosing.” Ichigo released a strained breath and looked at his dad with pleading eyes. For whatever reason, Ishin couldn't fathom. However, he did know both he and Ichigo needed this man to help, and help he would.

 

Realising the time, Ishin threw a punch at Ichigo's head. Ichigo dodged with wide eyes, doing his best to write as he dodged the barrage of punches flying at him now. Once he had finished writing, he held up the pad for his dad to read. **“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!** **”** Ishin growled before throwing another punch that narrowly missed Ichigo's forming bruise. “What am I doing? What are YOU doing?! Why are you home so early?!” Ichigo looked at his father with shock and mild confusion before he clicked and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. **“I got into a fight and got suspended.** **”** Ishin sighed. “Again?” Ichigo nodded. The room fell silent. Then, Ishin threw his arms around his son in an intense hug. Ichigo squirmed but to no avail. “That's my boy! Show them how strong you are!” Ichigo sighed before kicking his dad in the gut and walking into the kitchen. He threw his pad at his dad. He caught it and read the message he hadn't even seen Ichigo writing. **“We missed dinner, what do you want?** **”** Ishin smiled at the pad before yelling after his son. “I'LL TAKE TWO PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES!” Ichigo nodded and set to work.

* * *

 

It was now 7pm and the family had just finished their meal. Yuzu had happily described her school day, whereas Karin huffed over her homework. Apparently, her music teacher was out and she had to take maths instead, meaning she got the homework early. Ichigo had chuckled in victory at that but later said he would help her with it. Which is what he was doing now. It was multiplication and division so, not too hard.

 

Not long into the night, a knock was heard from the front door. Since Ichigo wasn't doing anything, he went over to the door, notepad at the ready. He opened the door and his mouth dropped. That crazy red head was here with a bag Ichigo could only presume to be holding living essentials. He quickly scribbled on his pad and the man patiently waited. **“What the hell are you doing here?** **”** Renji laughed. “Didn't I tell you? I'm going to be living with you while I work here. Hi there roomy!” His lips quirked up into a devious smile and Ichigo scowled. He let the man in but told him to stay put. Then he stormed over to his dad, who was happily reading a book. He shoved his pad in Ishin's face and waited for a reply. **“Why didn't you mention he would be living here?** **”** Ishin looked confused, then he looked to the front door to see Renji looking a little impatient. He looked back to Ichigo and shrugged. “Forgot?” Ichigo clenched his hand around his notepad, scrunching it a little. “Oh, and Ichigo, he's staying in your room.” Ichigo almost screamed. His jaw was on the floor and his eyes were like Death Stars. **“EH?!** **”** Ishin sighed. “Well, you're both young men and there's no way I'm letting him bunk with your sisters.” Ichigo nodded but still refused to believe him. Instead of writing his response, he pointed at his dad. It took a while for him to realise what he meant but when he did, he simply shook his head.

 

Ichigo drooped in defeat, plodding over to Renji and taking his bag. Renji protested but Ichigo simply shot him a silencing glare. Instead, he silently followed Ichigo up the stairs and into his room. He took in the features of the room and his mouth dropped. “This is completely different to the Soul Society.” Ichigo quirked an eye brow but Renji ignored him. Ichigo sighed as he pulled out bedding for Renji to use and showed him the bathroom. He held his pad in front of Renji and he took it from his hand. **“Dad tends to take a while in there so get up earlier than him.** **”** Renji nodded before the two went back to Ichigo's room.

 

Ichigo flopped on his bed and stared at his ceiling as Renji took out some clothes from his bag. He began stripping and Ichigo shot up, flailing his arms for Renji to stop. Which he did, when his shirt was fully removed. “What?” Ichigo shook his head then held up a finger. Renji slowly nodded as he watched Ichigo walk out of the room. With a shrug, Renji continued getting undressed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji tries to learn a little bit about Ichigo. It doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! I had MAJOR writers block, still do to be honest. So, this chapter probably SUCKS. I also haven't read/watched Bleach in a while so they probably seem hella OOC. I am greatly sorry for that. And how long it took to write. I will try and write some more soon! Just gotta finish college work first (=w=)
> 
> Anyway, hope you find some joy in this. And, any comments, be them good or bad, please feel free to write them. I probably need some hate on this chapter to be honest... Took too long and probably sucks so, it needs it.

Ichigo stood by his door, waiting for Renji to finish. He heard footsteps and looked over to see Yuzu going to bed. He waved and she smiled. Then she ran over and pulled him into her room. He looked at her confused but she kept pulling. Then she jumped into bed and held her hands up, signalling Ichigo to tuck her in. He chuckled before complying and tucking his sister in. She giggled as the sheets moved to cover her and he smiled. It was rare for him to do this now. Mainly because she seemed a bit old for it but also because he had been trying to distance himself from them.

Once his sister was tucked in, he kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. She returned the smile with droopy eyes. He went for his notepad to say good night when he noticed it wasn't there. He panicked internally, then remembered that Renji took it from him earlier to read his message. He scowled momentarily before smiling at his sister and trying to speak. His lips moved to say it but, he couldn't bring his voice out. He scowled at himself again and mentally kicked himself. Then he felt a hand on his. He looked up to see Yuzu smiling. “Good night to you too Ichigo.” He felt a ping in his heart but kept it in as he smiled and nodded at Yuzu before leaving the room. He felt terrible. He was hurting his family because he was too scared to speak. Stupid, STUPID! He fought back the thoughts and went back to his own room, not caring whether Renji was done or not.

He entered the room to see that Renji was climbing into bed. He sighed in relief as he went to his closet and grabbed some of his pyjamas and walking to the bathroom to change. Once he was finished, he went back to his room. He then laid down in his bed and shuffled under the covers. Because he didn’t have his pad, he opted for a wave. Renji saw it and scowled. He didn’t know what was wrong with the kid but, it wasn’t natural. Urahara had told him that.

As he laid in his new bed, Renji thought about his new roommate. A teenager with the power to see ghosts and choosing to live his life without uttering a word. It was weird. He just couldn’t understand why Ichigo would choose to stay quiet, even around his family. It had to be something important, otherwise he would just up and speak to everyone. So, what was it? When he had asked Urahara, he had simply smiled and said, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”. Hat and clogs was probably sat in his shop, chuckling to himself.

In any case, Renji was on a special mission. He was to become friends with Ichigo, and get him to speak. He doesn’t have a plan on how to do that yet, if he’s honest. His original plan was to hide all of the pens and paper. But, that was a bust since Ichigo has a phone, like everyone else seems to these days. He could steal that too but, what if he got into some trouble and needed it? No, he couldn’t do that. That was a step too far.

For the remainder of the night, Renji laid awake, conjuring plans he could try. Every so often, he would hear a faint whine of sadness and fear rip through Ichigo’s lips. It made him all the more curious. To the point where he was debating waking the ginger and straight up asking what he was dreaming about. However, he wasn’t at that stage yet. They had just met that day; he can’t just intrude on his life like that. Even if it was his mission. Instead, he went back to planning, and waited for the morning to come.

* * *

 

The next morning, Ichigo awoke to the sound of clapping. He furrowed his brows as his eyes slowly opened. He blinked away some sleep before turning to look at the source of his irritation. Renji Abarai… and his dad?! He opened his mouth in shock and silent question before closing it again and sitting up. Then, he leaned forward as his dad dived kicked the wall where his head was a moment ago.

Renji stood with his mouth agape, completely baffled by what just happened. “What are you doing?! What if you hit him?!” Ishin looked at Renji with a raised brow of question before openly laughing. Ichigo sighed as his dad got to explaining. “If I managed to hit him, then we’d have a problem! He would need to train harder if he couldn’t dodge that!” Renji just blinked before shrugging, giving up the argument before it even began. The Kurosaki’s will do what they will after all.

After telling Ichigo to, quote on quote, “get your ass outta bed so we can open the pharmacy”, Ichigo stretched his limbs and watched as Ishin and Renji left his room. He quickly set about freshening up and getting dressed, before going downstairs and eating his breakfast. Once that was done, with a bit of chatter between Renji and Ishin, the three opened shop.

Ichigo was given the important task of showing Renji how everything worked and what to do as customers flittered through. There weren’t many coming in, being during work and school hours. So, Ichigo had plenty of time to teach Renji the ropes. That also meant, Renji had plenty of time to set his plan into motion.

Ichigo sat writing down the latest patients and treatments, making sure to jot down every detail. Seemed like a good time for Renji to start probing Ichigo for information. Basics first, the more important stuff can come later. Much, much later he believes. “So, Ichigo, what’s your favourite lesson at school?” Ichigo blinked in surprise before turning to the red head. The latter was obviously trying to make small talk, Ichigo just didn’t know why. So, he humoured him. With a small, inaudible sigh, he pulled out his notepad. **“Science. It** **’s the easiest one.** **”**

Renji smirked. _“So, the kid_ _’s smart huh?_ _”_ Ichigo continued doing the work he was previously as Renji thought of more questions. Now that he really thinks about it, he doesn’t know what to ask. He kind of just wants to straight up ask what’s wrong with him. Which of course, he can’t do. He will have to speak on the fly and hope the questions are good enough. “Ah, smart guy eh? Well, what’s you’re least favourite?”

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose. Would this guy ever stop? He just wanted to finish this sheet so he could go help his dad in the pharmacy again. At least it would give him something to do while he’s suspended.

With another sigh, he wrote on his pad once more. **“English.** **”** He chose to give no reason this time, hoping the other would see that he’s working and shut up. Unfortunately, no luck. “What, no reason? Or are you just bad with other languages?” Renji said in a snarky tone. Ichigo felt a vein pop in his forehead and turned to glare at the red head. He had decided, enough was enough. **“Look, I** **’m trying to work. Can you just leave me alone?** **”** Renji read over the message, feeling slightly proud that he elicited some kind of emotion from the boy.

Which is probably why, he doesn’t stop. In fact, he may have taken it too far with his next comment. “Ah, avoiding the question. Must be spot on then. Want me to teach you English, _Strawberry_?” In hind sight, maybe he shouldn’t piss off the ginger kid being trained to fight by his ‘psychopath’ father.

At the use of the nickname, Ichigo saw red. More precisely, he saw the red hair of his elder fly across the room from his kick. The other landed on the floor with a groan of pain. Ichigo felt slightly better after assaulting him, but he had to get away from him before he made another spirit that would keep him awake at night. So, he made his way to see his father, hoping to get a certain tattooed red head fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? *nervous sweats* And please, be honest!


End file.
